When we are approached with programming we are asked about fashion, (what is practical vs what our children are downloading from society’s programming), etiquette, personal hygiene, and cosmetics. We are also asked how we deal with trauma and sexual abuse. For your information, 75% of our children are being raised in single female households, and 60% of our girls are likely to have suffered some type of sexual abuse or abuse period. These percentages are so high we do not have the luxury of not addressing them.
There is a stereotype of typical female and male behaviour when it comes to trauma from abuse. Girls are more able to verbalise their emotions and less likely to use physically aggressive acts in response to negative emotions such as confusion, frustration and anger. We do not know whether this is a cultural characteristic. We recognise children who are aggressive are likely to be referred for a diagnostic assessment to determine whether their behaviour is due to a specific developmental disorder and for advice on behaviour management. Boys are more often referred to a psychologists or psychiatrist, because their aggression has become a concern for their parents or schoolteachers. Consequences of these referrals are more boys are tracked straight through the prison industrial complex while girls are often misdiagnosed or not diagnosed at all. Our beloved clinicians and academics are giving false impressions of the incidences of aggression in our communities, because women take their aggression out on themselves and later their mates and children….75% of us. smh.
Playing with Dolls
Each child coping with difficulty develops his/her own techniques and strategies to learn how to acquire specific skills and develop coping mechanisms. One technique is to have practical guidance and moral support from one’s peers. If the person’s natural peer group is girls, she is more likely to be supported and included by a greater majority of her peers. Thus, girls are often ‘mothered’ by other girls. They may prompt the child when they are unsure what to do or say in social situations, and comfort them when they are distressed.
There has been tons of documented training with girls that has indicated, in general, girls are more motivated to learn and quicker to understand key concepts of social skills. They have a great chance of becoming fluent in those skills. I can testify.
As a Pisces sun, mercury and jupiter, I have been able to take part in this world as an observer while living in my head. My coping started with playing with dolls. My Gemini rising helped to disguise this. I can imitate and become anyone I want and did as if I had no other choice. I found the performing arts very comforting, because I could become the person I was emulating. My Taurus Moon; however, compelled me to emulate my mother and grandmother. My home life models.
Girls are likely to be enrolled in speech or drama lessons. This provides an ideal and socially acceptable opportunity for coaching in body language. In Girl Society we use role play to invoke memory. This includes reciting dialogue for all characters and/or memorizing the dialogue or ‘script’ of real life conversations. Knowing the script means the girl does not have to worry about what to say. We find that not only is acting a successful option for our girls, so is the organizing and arranging of the set. Whether it be a classroom, a playground, a kitchen etc., we find that some girls would rather organize things than play with things.
We do not encourage solitary play with dolls, because we need interference from others. That creates an environment where girls have to learn to accept outcomes of others. We use scripts of real life events or scenes from books or films. Many people feel like playing with dolls has a time stamp on it, but you will be surprised by the dominance in interest by girls over age 13. It is deep how all other interests in things like computers, science, or writing show up as well.
Abundance Child was interviewed on Israel Doctrine‘s show “The Huddle”, about sexual abuse in our community, and what she is doing about it. You can listen to it here: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thehuddle3/2014/04/22/sister-abundance-child-will-be-give-us-a-interview-a-update-on-whats-new